In the words of McKenna’s mama, Amelia:

“Becoming new parents and welcoming our first baby into the world is bound to bring the fair share of the unexpected, the exciting, and the emotional. But changing our birth plans in the midst of a global health pandemic, at 34 weeks was the last thing my husband and I expected to do. But after our incredible experience, we truly wouldn’t have had it any other way. Well, except for the pandemic part.

Throughout my pregnancy I really didn’t know what to expect because everything was so new to me. What I thought I knew about birth and “what to expect” was formed by what I saw on TV or from other women’s stories which mostly created this idea that birth was scary and chaotic. But my pregnancy was amazing! I had no complications, remained very healthy and low risk, and after eliminating any preconceived notions about what I thought birth would be like, I went from fearful to excited and couldn’t wait for the experience! Despite my desire to have a completely unmedicated birth, the idea of having a home birth only ever crossed my mind when I read about it in books and after watching a few videos. I was inspired and truly in awe by home births, but I didn’t think it was a possibility for me because I didn’t know where to start. No one I knew had a home birth and I had a storm of questions clouding my brain that I felt I didn’t know how to find the answers to. I didn’t even know where to begin to find a midwife. So, since this was our first baby, I felt I needed to keep things pretty standard to what I knew based on other’s experiences. To go to an OBGYN practice, to birth at a hospital, to follow the “norm”.

As the COVID-19 pandemic began to flip our world, things felt scary and unpredictable, and the ever-changing policies of the hospital we originally were going to had disrupted our birth plans. We knew at this point, as long as we could help it - the hospital was out of the question. We connected with Samm after she was recommended to us by our Doula, Evana Cooper and my yoga instructor at The Village. After our initial virtual visit, we choose a home birth which ensured we would have the calm, supportive, positive experience we hoped for. This was the beginning of the greatest decision we could make to welcome our baby into this crazy world - by staying in the comfort and safety of our home. From that moment on I was so excited and curious how my birth would go. I walked around the house for weeks leading up to it thinking “will my baby be born in this room, how about over here? Will I be on the couch? In the bed?”.

My due date (5/4) came and went and my husband, Alec, and I grew increasingly more excited and anxious. We wanted to meet this baby!! Then two days later (5/6) at 1:40am I woke up to the feeling of a warm trickle of water. I waited a moment to make sure I wasn’t dreaming and then it happened again. “Hey babe….I think my water broke”, I called down the hallway to Alec (we were sleeping separately so I could take up the whole bed with my big pregnant belly and a ton of pillows). He found me in a puddle on the bed and we both looked at each other ecstatically, we were finally about to meet our baby! After texting Samm and Evana, to let them know what happened and putting a fresh change of sheets on the bed, we tried to get more sleep which was nearly impossible because we were so excited.

In Alec’s arms I laid there watching morning doves outside of our window. Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” was in my head and I thought this has to be a good sign that what was ahead of us was going to be peaceful and perfect!

Throughout the morning contractions were manageable and seemed to be growing in intensity. We went for two walks around the block but by the afternoon my contractions were slowing and not getting any more intense. Samm came to check on me around 2:40pm and while everything was sounding good, we were concerned that since contractions began to slow - a transfer would be possible if active labor didn’t begin soon, especially because I was GBS positive. She gave me an herbal remedy to kick start contractions again and we scheduled an appointment with a local chiropractor to help keep their labor process progressing. After taking a few doses of the herbs active labor began, Evana was now with us, helping to keep the mood light and supporting me through contractions as Alec got the birth pool ready. We then adventured to the chiropractor where, through contractions, I was re-aligned using the Webster technique. Absolutely mind blowing! I am so thankful and beyond grateful for this opportunity and believe it helped get things in the right position for the road ahead.

When we got back home. Samm and her assistant Krystina came over and everything was getting very surreal. We were all feeling more confident that we weren’t going to need to be transferred to the hospital which I was so worried about. It was the last place I wanted to go, and so help me, I couldn’t even fathom being in a moving car again!

Over the course of the next several hours, I focused on my breathing and moved around in a lot of different positions!... and I mean, a lot! We had a killer playlist playing in the background and as active labor progressed my ability to hold a conversation went from being pretty casual to me nagging and asking Samm and Evana how the hell did they do this and how did they do this multiple times?! Labor was beginning to take a toll on me. Contractions were coming on VERY strong they really did feel like a bell curve where I instinctively knew when it starts, rises, peaks and then falls/fades away. I was beginning to really hate them, but I at least knew what to expect of them and was able to get some rest in between them. But damn it, I was really ready for this baby to come out. Alec and Evana helped me focus and feel supported during every wave. Alec never left my side and even though I felt like my eyes were closed throughout most of the latter part of labor, I knew he was there with me the entire time. They kept helping me focus on my mantras especially the one reminding me “I can, because, I am!”

I went in the pool twice for some relief. It felt so nice to sit in the warm water, but when the pushing phase began I couldn’t quite get my grip and I needed to be on land to focus. So, we moved me to the toilet to try pushing and then to the bed. Still switching around positions, I absolutely hated being on my back or side because of the acid reflux I unexpectedly experienced; it wouldn’t go away no matter the amount of water I drank. Finally, it made me throw up, and I probably should have thrown up sooner but more than anything I hate throwing up so I didn’t want to and probably instinctively tried to fight it. But despite being on my back I needed pushing guidance from Samm and assistance with holding my legs up from Alec and Evana. I don’t know when transition happened but it probably was when I was beginning to get the hang of pushing and was so frustrated I let out a blood curdling scream. It didn’t help bring the baby down but damn did that feel good. As midnight approached, this was really when I started to reach a point where I wanted it be over with. I was beyond exhausted! I kept telling everyone I was done! I wanted it to be over with. Watching the clock did not help. Every minute felt like an hour. I kept wondering how the hell I could get this baby to come out of me NOW. RIGHT NOW. I told Samm “JUST PULL IT OUT!”, I wanted someone else to finish the job. But no one could help me, l needed to bear down and push hard.

Early on, pushing wasn’t how I expected it to be “coming naturally”, it took me a tremendous amount of focus and energy. I was still on my back and almost no motivation left until I saw my baby’s head begin to come out - it looked like a dinosaur egg to me, it was so bizarre looking! But this was what I needed to see that all this energy has actually made progress, I can keep doing this!

Everyone helped get me on all fours to finish pushing when the baby was through my cervix, now things were uncontrollable. Finally, that feeling I was expecting with pushing!

My body was taking control and pushing on its own even when I didn’t have time to catch my breath. I was just along for the insane, mind blowing, life altering ride!

After three grueling hours, the ring of fire which I claimed I wanted to feel was happening, it felt like my bottom was ripping apart as the baby’s head crowned and came out. I pushed with all my might to get the rest out. By the last push it felt as though the rest of my baby’s body and legs just slid out. A wave of sensational relief just washed over. It was FINALLY over! I DID IT!! Our baby was here!!!! We didn’t know what we were having until this moment and Alec was so overwhelmed with joy and relief he didn’t even know what to say when he revealed our baby’s sex, saying it was a boy when it was actually a girl and handed her to me. A tiny, sweet, 6lb 14 oz baby girl covered in vernix and goop! I was helped onto my back with my baby snuggled closely to my chest.

It was the most magical, surreal, beautiful moment. All the pain and intensity were gone, all that mattered was that my baby was safely in my arms.

Alec crawled into bed with us and we had the next hour to ourselves, while our incredible birth team cleaned up. I fell asleep in complete peace and bliss, snuggling with my beautiful family. “

The birth of my daughter has completely shattered all expectations and ideas I had leading up to it. It was nothing like the stories I heard or what I had seen on TV.

It brought me to my highest highs and lowest lows.It literally brought me to my knees in the most vulnerable moments, while simultaneously reaching my strongest most powerful state of mind and body.

I am so thankful for my amazingly strong supportive husband, my birth team who are ultimately like family to us, and my health for the opportunity to take what we could control when the world felt uncontrollable, scary and unknown, to stay home sweet home!